A Vote for Green Mango is a vote for unripe fruit!
I just wanted to put a link to a Toronto Star article by Linwood Barclay and call it a day. However, it seems the Star has gone all fancy and implemented member sign ins and all that jazz.
So, I'll just copy and paste and you can empathize and chuckle along (if you live in Canada and can understand what it's like to have local US channels clouding up the airwaves and constantly streaming from your TV set), or nod and smile even if you're not Canadian but have had the pleasure of seeing US government campaign ads for any level of government. Oh, those silly Americans, I hope their empire falls soon. Tonight even.
Be forewarned: this is a long post. And the font is small. And I tried to fix it. But it didn't work.
Oct. 30, 2004. 01:00 AM
Buffalo voters left to wing it
LINWOOD BARCLAY
Even though we sit north of the border and it's not our election, we
Canadians have a pretty good sense of the kind of campaign that's being
waged between President George W. Bush and Democratic challenger John
Kerry.
We've seen some or all of the debates, we've watched the
news and we know Bush's stand, that a Kerry victory means death and
destruction for American, and we know Kerry's main platform, that he
is, in case you haven't heard, a Vietnam war hero. There may be other
issues, but they don't matter.But what do we know about all
those hundreds of local races that are going on, like the ones for
Congress? Well, not much, with the possible exception of the race
between Nancy Naples and Brian Higgins.If you live in the GTA and watch TV, even if you channel surf and never stay on any station
for more than 1.2 seconds, you will be familiar with Naples and Higgins.They're running for the 27th Congressional district of New York state, Naples
for the Republicans and Higgins for the Democrats, and their campaign
ads are running on the Buffalo-area TV stations non-stop.Judging by the spots, these two people are, without question, the two most
despicable individuals to ever walk the face of the Earth. If I were a
Buffalo resident, I wouldn't be puzzling over which one to vote for.
I'd be wondering which one deserves the longer sentence in Sing Sing.As election day nears, the ads are getting even nastier. Take the most recent batch from both sides.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and I approved this message."Narrator: "Brian Higgins hasn't just raised taxes on homeowners and small
business operators, he's failed to open doors for little old ladies,
makes turns without signalling, and once dropped a live toaster into
the bathtub of a disgruntled constituent. Is that the kind of
leadership you want? On election day, vote for Nancy Naples. She won't
drop an appliance in your bath, and that's a promise."Not surprisingly, the Higgins camp fought back.Brian Higgins: "I'm Brian Higgins, and I approved this message."Narrator: "Nancy Naples says she's totally in favour of the policies of George W.
Bush that have brought increased unemployment to upper New York state.
And as if that weren't enough, she doesn't brake for squirrels. Vote
for Brian Higgins, a guy who's willing to put the brakes to Republican
incompetence and heartlessness."Well, the Naples camp wasn't about to let that one go.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and not only do I approve this message, but I want to scratch Brian Higgins' eyes out."Narrator: "Do you want to be represented in Congress by someone who sleeps in a
nightgown? Well, if it's Nancy Naples, that's probably okay with you.
But what if it's Brian Higgins? You decide." The Higgins team was outraged and responded quickly.Brian Higgins: "I'm Brian Higgins. I approved this message, and I sleep in the raw."Narrator: "Why won't Nancy Naples talk about puppies during this campaign? Has
anyone heard her mention puppies even once? Could it be that Nancy
Naples doesn't like puppies, that she may actually hate puppies? Don't
send a puppy-hater to Washington. Send Brian Higgins. He likes puppies."The Naples people were all over that one.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and I eat Kibbles 'n Bits."Narrator: "Why doesn't Brian Higgins mention cats in his latest attack ad? Why
won't he talk about his formative years, on the farm, when he rowed out
to the middle of the pond? What was in that sack? Why don't you ask
him?"So there you have it. It's quite a choice.
~green mango veterans for truth sincerely hope your guy wins!
So, I'll just copy and paste and you can empathize and chuckle along (if you live in Canada and can understand what it's like to have local US channels clouding up the airwaves and constantly streaming from your TV set), or nod and smile even if you're not Canadian but have had the pleasure of seeing US government campaign ads for any level of government. Oh, those silly Americans, I hope their empire falls soon. Tonight even.
Be forewarned: this is a long post. And the font is small. And I tried to fix it. But it didn't work.
Oct. 30, 2004. 01:00 AM
Buffalo voters left to wing it
LINWOOD BARCLAY
Even though we sit north of the border and it's not our election, we
Canadians have a pretty good sense of the kind of campaign that's being
waged between President George W. Bush and Democratic challenger John
Kerry.
We've seen some or all of the debates, we've watched the
news and we know Bush's stand, that a Kerry victory means death and
destruction for American, and we know Kerry's main platform, that he
is, in case you haven't heard, a Vietnam war hero. There may be other
issues, but they don't matter.But what do we know about all
those hundreds of local races that are going on, like the ones for
Congress? Well, not much, with the possible exception of the race
between Nancy Naples and Brian Higgins.If you live in the GTA and watch TV, even if you channel surf and never stay on any station
for more than 1.2 seconds, you will be familiar with Naples and Higgins.They're running for the 27th Congressional district of New York state, Naples
for the Republicans and Higgins for the Democrats, and their campaign
ads are running on the Buffalo-area TV stations non-stop.Judging by the spots, these two people are, without question, the two most
despicable individuals to ever walk the face of the Earth. If I were a
Buffalo resident, I wouldn't be puzzling over which one to vote for.
I'd be wondering which one deserves the longer sentence in Sing Sing.As election day nears, the ads are getting even nastier. Take the most recent batch from both sides.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and I approved this message."Narrator: "Brian Higgins hasn't just raised taxes on homeowners and small
business operators, he's failed to open doors for little old ladies,
makes turns without signalling, and once dropped a live toaster into
the bathtub of a disgruntled constituent. Is that the kind of
leadership you want? On election day, vote for Nancy Naples. She won't
drop an appliance in your bath, and that's a promise."Not surprisingly, the Higgins camp fought back.Brian Higgins: "I'm Brian Higgins, and I approved this message."Narrator: "Nancy Naples says she's totally in favour of the policies of George W.
Bush that have brought increased unemployment to upper New York state.
And as if that weren't enough, she doesn't brake for squirrels. Vote
for Brian Higgins, a guy who's willing to put the brakes to Republican
incompetence and heartlessness."Well, the Naples camp wasn't about to let that one go.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and not only do I approve this message, but I want to scratch Brian Higgins' eyes out."Narrator: "Do you want to be represented in Congress by someone who sleeps in a
nightgown? Well, if it's Nancy Naples, that's probably okay with you.
But what if it's Brian Higgins? You decide." The Higgins team was outraged and responded quickly.Brian Higgins: "I'm Brian Higgins. I approved this message, and I sleep in the raw."Narrator: "Why won't Nancy Naples talk about puppies during this campaign? Has
anyone heard her mention puppies even once? Could it be that Nancy
Naples doesn't like puppies, that she may actually hate puppies? Don't
send a puppy-hater to Washington. Send Brian Higgins. He likes puppies."The Naples people were all over that one.Nancy Naples: "I'm Nancy Naples, and I eat Kibbles 'n Bits."Narrator: "Why doesn't Brian Higgins mention cats in his latest attack ad? Why
won't he talk about his formative years, on the farm, when he rowed out
to the middle of the pond? What was in that sack? Why don't you ask
him?"So there you have it. It's quite a choice.
~green mango veterans for truth sincerely hope your guy wins!
POSTED BY G. MANGO at 11:34
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