Humility
Is a hard thing to learn. And I must be failing the test, because I've had to take it so many times in the last six months.
Not getting that job hit me a lot harder than I expected. I actually had already decided not to take it if they offered it to me, but I still wanted the satisfaction of turning someone down for a change. I think I have weathered enough rejection of late to warrant doling out a little rejection of my own.
I had a teary-eyed, jobless, self-pitying session with my sister last week and another with a friend this week. I think I have shed more tears in the last seven days than I have in years. It's a bit ridiculous. It's just a job. Or, rather a lack of job.
But I'm starting to realize that it has less to do with being out of a job, and more to do with all the baggage in my trunk. I come from educated people, with impressive jobs, and admirable work ethic. There is a fully spoken expectation that I get a real job and start saving for a house, a car, some children, and a comfortable retirement.
I worked hard to get myself through school, and I thought that guaranteed me a way onto the road that leads to Freedom 55. But apparently a Bachelor's degree is merely a twenty-thousand dollar piece of wallpaper. I need to either get some more education, or do a whole lot of volunteering in my field so I can get a decent portfolio together, or reassess and just keep plugging away at non-profit work. And none of those options makes my heart go giddy-up.
Anyway, all that to say, I have an interview on Tuesday. It's just a job to pay the bills. And hopefully I will get it, and I will work enough hours to pay for rent and food and humility test re-takes. And hopefully I will work few enough hours to pick up a writing gig or two so that my muse is placated.
~who are you? g. mango is you in 25 years.
Not getting that job hit me a lot harder than I expected. I actually had already decided not to take it if they offered it to me, but I still wanted the satisfaction of turning someone down for a change. I think I have weathered enough rejection of late to warrant doling out a little rejection of my own.
I had a teary-eyed, jobless, self-pitying session with my sister last week and another with a friend this week. I think I have shed more tears in the last seven days than I have in years. It's a bit ridiculous. It's just a job. Or, rather a lack of job.
But I'm starting to realize that it has less to do with being out of a job, and more to do with all the baggage in my trunk. I come from educated people, with impressive jobs, and admirable work ethic. There is a fully spoken expectation that I get a real job and start saving for a house, a car, some children, and a comfortable retirement.
I worked hard to get myself through school, and I thought that guaranteed me a way onto the road that leads to Freedom 55. But apparently a Bachelor's degree is merely a twenty-thousand dollar piece of wallpaper. I need to either get some more education, or do a whole lot of volunteering in my field so I can get a decent portfolio together, or reassess and just keep plugging away at non-profit work. And none of those options makes my heart go giddy-up.
Anyway, all that to say, I have an interview on Tuesday. It's just a job to pay the bills. And hopefully I will get it, and I will work enough hours to pay for rent and food and humility test re-takes. And hopefully I will work few enough hours to pick up a writing gig or two so that my muse is placated.
~who are you? g. mango is you in 25 years.
POSTED BY G. MANGO at 15:11
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