Feelings, nothing more than feelings

I have too many feelings tonight. This, coupled with an acute craving for a coke and a family-sized bag of Miss Vicki's sea salt and vinegar kettle chips, and an ever-shifting body temperature (current state: higher than seasonal temperature with a low pressure system moving up from the mid-west), has led me to one conclusion: I am pregnant. Or, more likely, I am menopausal. Or, even more likely, I have PMS. But who's to know? The symptoms are so similar.

Don't worry, Mom,* I'm probably not pregnant. Probably. I mean, unless pregnancy is the root cause of run-on sentences and careless over-use of adjectival modifiers. And sentence fragments.

I better quit before the comma, splices start.


~g. mango: hero without a clause

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*Also, don't get too excited, Dad. There are no grandbabies in your immediate future.