Reasons not to date me

• Chances are at whatever time you are reading this, day or night, my underwear is showing.

• I was totally serious about that leg hair thing.
  

• I am allergic to the following:

• raw apples, peaches, pears, plums, apricots, nectarines, cherries, carrots, almonds
• cats (raw or otherwise)
• artificial food colouring
  
• Spring
  
• vacuuming

• I often forget that I am allergic to most of the above until it is too late.

• I have freakishly long appendages, and almost no torso to speak of. If I were a grasshopper, I'd look ridiculous.*
  

• I haven't posted a drawring in ages.

• I am prone to the overuse of parentheses. (See below).

~sgm seeks team of hair removal specialist for LTR, must have own tools

--
*As it is, I am a human being (not a highly intelligent mango as I have led you to believe), and I still look ridiculous. But unlike a grasshopper (or a mango), I can create the illusion of having a somewhat normal torso-to-leg-proportionality with cunning use of extra-long rib-knit tanks.** I've given up on trying to disguise my orangutan arms, and have just taken to wearing knuckle guards so I don't get too scraped up.

**And yet my underwear still manages to reveal itself over the top of my pants. This is a mystery to me.