Reasons not to date me

Surprise! I have a day off the island! Huzzah! Internet access is always a reason to celebrate! And what better way than with a hastily-put-together list of reasons not to date your favourite mango?

Reasons Schmeasons!

• I hate using little pieces of soap in the shower, so when my bar gets too small for comfort, I just leave it sitting in the soap dish and open a new one.


• I never mush all the discarded soap pieces into a big bar, so I've accumulated quite a large collection of soap shrapnel.

• I prefer the ocean to swimming pools.

• I have been living on a beautiful island all summer and have yet to go in the ocean.

• I'm always cold in the daytime.

• I'm always hot in the nighttime.

• Hot or cold, I will cuddle you within an inch of your life.

• As a rule, I don't eat beef.

• As a rule, I don't follow rules. (This doesn't usually end well for me if I break the beef one).

~g.mango is four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie