Reasons not to date me

• I will unfriend you immediately and without question if you are over the age of 18 and use OMG or LOL in any form of written communication with me.

• I will excommunicate you for life (no matter what your age) if you use OMG or LOL in oral communication. Unless you do it ironically; in which case I will just look at you with contempt and call you a hipster.

• I harbour no ill-will against those who use FYI or btw.

• I am a hypocrite.*
  

• I only have a vague idea of what bandwidth is, but I know I will be angry if you steal mine.

~g. mango looks just like buddy holly and you are mary tyler moore trying to t'ief my internet signal

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*I mean with the OMG and the FYI thing, not in general. Although if you do a thorough investigation, who knows what you'll dig up?