Reasons not to date me

• When walking, I cross the street multiple times to ensure that I am always on the sunny side. I do not care how inconvenient it is, or if it means that I will be late to whatever meeting or event I am headed to.

• I will find a way to be late to whatever meeting or event I am going to anyway.

• There is often a sock collection at the bottom of my bed between the fitted sheet and the top sheet due to my inability to fall asleep without socks on, the magical sock fairies who remove my socks at night without my knowledge, and my frantic morning routine which does not afford me the luxury of the time to de-sock my bed before work.

• I like brownies. But not chocolate cake. And I like hot chocolate. But certainly not chocolate bars.

• As a child I fought tirelessly with my sister over which of us would be the one to play this song at her wedding.

• I have since deferred my claim to the above,¹ and now have called dibs on Somebody's Getting Married ² from The Muppets Take Manhattan and Burl Ives' version of Froggy Went a Courtin'.³

• I am serious about that last bullet point.
  

~g. mango went down to miss mousie's house mmhmm


1. But I still know all the words!
2. I figure I have enough friends who would sing and dance in the ensemble if given enough practice time or alcohol.
3. I have picked two frog-related songs to express my truest devotion. Wonder what Freud would say about that?

The Great Pasta Adventure

Here are some pics of a weekend of pasta making. Mamabear, T, and little old me went to town and this is what the results looked like.

Spaghetti

Drying linguini

Ravioli

~g. mango is a card-carrying carb creator!

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Pic creds: Mamabear - 1 and 3; GM - 2

Special Ed Special Report

Setting: Christian Perspectives/Lifeskills Class, a class of five kids with certain challenges where we learn basic life and social lessons, and some stellar biblical principles as well.

The Players: Enrique the Chino, Green Mango (Teachers);
Textbook Asperger's, The Mule, Daydream Believer, Gollum (Students)

TODAY'S LESSON: HOW WE CAN SHOW LOVE TO OUR MOMS

ETC: I show love to my Mom by hugging her and showering her with kisses.
DB:(Interrupting) Awkward. Awwwwwkward.
GM: Why is that so awkward?
DB: (Without irony, as always) Your mom kisses you in the shower?!

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~g. mango is laughing her way to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ

If the job fits, you must acquit

I drew this drawring at work today. And I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something, but I am still not sure if this piece is a personal reflection or just further proof of my creative genius.

REAL LIFE DRAWRING

~g. mango is living for the weekend

Me and my Swine Flu strolling down the avenue

Ever since I came back from Guatemala I've been in an on-again-off-again relationship with some sort of Nonspecific Tropical Mountain Virus. Symptoms include coughing, runny nose, fever, headache, everything else ache, and listlessness.¹ I've had to cancel a few engagements and I even left work early today due to the NTMV. Naturally with the global scare around Swine Flu and Guatemala's proximity to Mexico, I had to find out if I have the Swine Flu.

The Government of Canada website told me if I have a "cold and fever illness" that death was imminent. But the government is famous for fear-mongering. So I checked out Do I Have Swine Flu dot org. I found it very helpful. If you have a cough and fever illness, do your part to self-educate.


~g. mango is preparing for the aporkalypse.

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1. Hey, did I just make a list? I guess that means I'm listfull again

Salud!

While searching for the perfect glass beverage dispenser for the vast amounts of exceptionally good lemonade that has been produced and consumed in this household, I stumbled upon the following -- albeit less perfect -- beverage accessories:

• Enabling the golf-fanatic who has everything.
• And I quote, "Giant Extremely Large Flask."
• For the drunk on the go! Why stop to fuel up when you can just tote around this beauty?

In other news, if you would like to participate in the G. Mango Beverage Dispenser Search, you may be repaid in exceptionally good lemonade. I may even throw in a Giant Extremely Large Flask so you can make your lemonade portable!


~g. mango is embracing summer

Special Ed Special Report

Setting: Christian Perspectives/Lifeskills Class, a class of five kids with certain challenges where we learn basic life and social lessons, and some stellar biblical principles as well.

The Players: Enrique the Chino, Green Mango (Teachers);
Textbook Asperger's, The Mule, Daydream Believer, Gollum (Students)

TODAY'S LESSON: WHAT WE CHOOSE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT WHO WE ARE

ETC: Imagine you are on a journey through the desert for many days. You finally come upon an oasis. What is your first thought?...

Daydream Believer: A waitress?! What is she doing in the desert?

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ETC:When you finally reach your destination, you enter a building. In that building you go to the kitchen and open a cupboard. What is in that cupboard?

Daydream Believer: (Excitedly and without irony) Girls!

Textbook Asperger's: (Seriously and without irony) A dead body.

ETC: It has to be something you would normally find in a cupboard.

TA: Okay, not a dead body. A tied-up body?


~g.mango reporting for special ed news