Reasons not to date me

Surprise! I have a day off the island! Huzzah! Internet access is always a reason to celebrate! And what better way than with a hastily-put-together list of reasons not to date your favourite mango?

Reasons Schmeasons!

• I hate using little pieces of soap in the shower, so when my bar gets too small for comfort, I just leave it sitting in the soap dish and open a new one.


• I never mush all the discarded soap pieces into a big bar, so I've accumulated quite a large collection of soap shrapnel.

• I prefer the ocean to swimming pools.

• I have been living on a beautiful island all summer and have yet to go in the ocean.

• I'm always cold in the daytime.

• I'm always hot in the nighttime.

• Hot or cold, I will cuddle you within an inch of your life.

• As a rule, I don't eat beef.

• As a rule, I don't follow rules. (This doesn't usually end well for me if I break the beef one).

~g.mango is four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie

Rainy days and vacays always get me down

Like I said, it rained almost all week. So the Intern and I had to change most of our plans.

Instead of tubing down the Cowichan River, we memorized the first fit of The Hunting of the Snark.*

Instead of driving to a scenic little town to check out their famous used bookstore,** we saw Mama Mia. Which, by the way, you should see right now. Don't even finish reading this post, it will be right here when you return. Go on, I'll wait.

Instead of going to see an outdoor performance of Much Ado about Nothing, we sat home and did mostly nothing.

Instead of having a big sunny barbecue, we had a big rainy barbecue. And I, being the designated griller of the two of us, developed a wicked case of pneumonia.***

Oh, yeah and we also went to a United Church for the first time, where the preacher informed us, much to my chagrin, that Jesus was not, in fact, magic. And we ended up taking in another Shakespeare play, though I can't for the life of me tell you what it was about. And we pretended we were tourists and took in the sights downtown. And we ate lots of street meat (which we later regretted). And we went to the outdoor symphony. And we picked the perfect spot to see the fireworks, which we still managed to have to strain to see through the trees.

And now I am off to the Little Island again, where I will have no internet, but many adventures. Check back in a few weeks for more.


~g.mango is a lean, green, grilling machine!


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* We are so awesome!
** We are such nerds!
*** No, I did not.

The Two Plagues

I've been off the Little Island (LI), and on the Big Island for about a week now. And I gotta say, the six hours of public transit and ferries trips it took to get here notwithstanding, it sure has been a great surprise vacation. And, of course, I have neglected to tell you, my deserving public, about it. I intend to remedy that right now.

It all started on a dark and stormy night sometime last week on the LI. The air was still, the moon was shining, and twenty-five people in the surrounding cabins were violently vomiting the night away. So the next day all who were able to stand bleached the whole place down, and the rest of us struggled mightily to call out "Unclean, unclean," as we ran to the toilettes and begged at the city gates. Then they evacuated half of the island and sent us all home to either recuperate and/or avoid disease and/or infect our loved ones.

But as I have hired my apartment out to a stranger, and had planned to be on the Big Island for the long weekend anyway, I decided to skip Vancouver and head straight to Victoria (enter the six hours of public transit, plus a ride from Mama Bear et al, and a pick up from the Intern on the other side).

The Intern and I had great plans for our week off. Which is why, I'm sure, it rained all week long. At least it wasn't locusts.


~g.mango, what's your twenty?